Creating Lasting Change

Have you ever made a change that lasted forever? What was the difference between that change and the others that have slowly and gradually drifted back to its original state?

I decided to ask some of my friends and clients this question, and here are their responses. You may find that special nugget of brilliance that you haven’t been able to quite grasp before from their answers. Perhaps you’ll even capture and make a lasting change with something you’ve worked hard on!

Joy said, “I decided that I was ready to stop taking everything someone said to me so personally. Every time I heard myself say something silently to that effect I would say, “Whoa, slow down Joy. Wait a minute, I don’t have to think that way…and I would stop thinking it.” I had to say that a lot in the beginning, almost every minute, but now I just find myself noticing what I’ve said and instantly from the “whoa,” I’m able to reframe it to “this isn’t about them, it’s about me. I’m meeting my needs and feeling comfortable with what I’m saying…I’m good!” This is one change that’s staying. I was so tired and drained by how I used to think constantly. Now I just accept that everyone has their “stuff,” and I move on with my life!

Dorothy has made her up and down swing of 20 pounds in her weight to going back to maintaining her most comfortable weight for the last year now. How? She decided it was time to not spend so much time and energy throughout her whole life worrying about something. She was ready to free herself from suffering in this area. She decided on what had been her most comfortable weight in the past, made a plan to get there and has stayed there. She was ready for change in this area of her life. She had decided to value and love her body to the point where it has become automatic to treat it lovingly with how she eats, exercises, sleeps and speaks to it. Permanent change!

Stan was a complete black and white thinker when he came to me for therapy. This applied to his wife, children, career and himself. There was only right or wrong, win or lose, fact or fiction, good or bad. Of course this created resistance, defensiveness and anger on the part of all those personalities he dealt with on a daily basis. He became tired of the struggle and through his work on himself he saw that he felt this way because of how judgmental and critical he had always been with HIMSELF. He decided to ACCEPT himself, and in the process he started seeing that there were no absolutes in life. People were human, and once he stopped judging himself so harshly he stopped judging himself. One day in therapy Stan’s son said to him in a family session, “I don’t like your house rules, I don’t like you.” He was amazed when his father lovingly smiled and said that he was sorry he felt that way, but his son was entitled to his opinion. His son was blown away since his “old” father would have gotten up and yelled at him. True matter’s a beautiful thing to watch!

What change have you managed to sustain? How did you do it? Won’t you share? You could spark something for someone that could be life-changing FOREVER!!


New Pathway to Healing
Connect to Mind – Body – Spirit with Petey Silveira

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