Is there an actual formula for falling in love, or does it happen as quickly and spontaneously as the great love stories would have us believe? There actually is truth in both statements.
If we are to speak of the formula for falling in love, we would speak about some of the studies that have been done that shows how attractive people tend to garner the most attention. There also are pheromones involved that create an actual physical attraction to a particular person.
But once you get past the initial physical and biological attraction, what is it that you’re actually falling in love with? Research shows that kindness and intelligence are the top two characteristics in the process of falling and STAYING in love. Kindness is the strongest indicator for a successful long-term relationship. Perhaps that’s why a lot of people fall in love with someone that was initially a friend!
Think about your past relationships that were the longest? While you may have started out with the physical attraction, what kept you there? And if the kindness started to dissipate from the relationship, was that your signal to move on or perhaps discover what had changed, so you could decide what avenue to take next?
What about the other way of falling in love where it’s quick, romantic and passionate? Does it really happen as it does in the movies? Take the classics for instance. Did “Gone With The Wind” or “Casablanca” take your breath away? Were you on the edge of your seat as their eyes met and waited for the moment for them to recognize the “falling in love” feeling? Of course for my younger readers, you may have been immersed in “Twilight,” “When Harry Met Sally” or “Pretty Woman.”
Yes, falling in love that passionately and romantically does happen like in the movies! Where do you think the idea came from? It is that absolutely wonderful feeling that starts at your toes and rushes up your body! Sheer chemistry at work! But we go back to the beginning of this post. The characteristic that keeps your firmly in that relationship is KINDNESS!
Kindness enhances the physical characteristics of falling in love in every dimension. From extending your hand to help your beloved, to giving compliments, being there to lend a kind ear on a hard day, responding to them nicely even when they’re stressed, smiling more, hugging frequently, and just being KIND!
Other characteristics such as unconditional love, showing gratitude, good listening skills, the ability to show empathy, a mutual spiritual connection, being ethical, moral, patient and a flair for finding humor from the most difficult to the lighter moments all defines a fabulous relationship.
This is the core of how love works! I’d love it if you shared how you feel when you fall in love!
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Connect to Mind – Body – Spirit with Petey Silveira