I have described some of my favorite tools I use in my coaching and counseling sessions in the last nine posts. To round out my top 10 series on the most effective communication techniques, I must include the art of forgiveness and letting go.
Tip #10: Why Forgive?
Let’s first define the word “forgive.” Forgive: “To stop being angry about or resenting somebody or somebody’s behavior, to excuse somebody for a mistake, misunderstanding, wrongdoing, or an inappropriateness.”
Why is this work so important? Because people are humans and humans make mistakes. Please remember that this work is meant to do for yourself as well! At times the mistakes are unintentional and at other times they were meant to hurt you for your lack of knowing a healthier way to handle them.
Whatever the reason, you come from an enormous and long history of knowing people intimately on some level. Even the most caring and loving souls in your life have made mistakes. When I am taking an initial history with a new client and ask them for their most prominent memories from growing up, they are not the positive ones. The memories that are most prominent are the ones that caused pain, hurt and upset. These are usually situations surrounding death, divorce, betrayal, or an upheaval in their life.
These remain prominent memories in their life because there has not been forgiveness. You will know there is forgiveness when you can remember the incident, but there is no negative feeling attached to it anymore.
For example, when you think of your childhood, perhaps one of your school friends talked behind your back about you or started a hurtful rumor. Do you remember the level of hurt you felt at that time? Is it still present? Have you truly forgiven that person? Have you made a CHOICE and decided to let it go and forgive them? If not, you can still feel the hurt attached to it this very day.
Why is forgiveness work so very important? It is because simply the act of not forgiving hurts you the most in life. Whether it is forgiving yourself or another person, not forgiving continues the behavior of carrying the embers of anger and keeping them lit on a regular basis.
When I do the forgiveness work with clients, they make a CONSCIOUS DECISION to LET GO and FORGIVE.
Carrying situation after situation of hurt, anger or upset can begin to weigh down a person tremendously. It is difficult to see, feel or have joy or love in your life. It becomes masked by layers of anger.
Give yourself the greatest gift of all. Decide to do forgiveness work. If you’re ready, I would be happy to be your guide. Please send me an email at email@example.com, and let’s set something up.
Are you ready to set yourself free, so you can do your finest work in your mind, body and spirit?
New Pathway to Healing
Connect to Mind – Body – Spirit with Petey Silveira